Recognising Mr Rebound

You can't believe you've met such a great guy so soon after breaking up with the jerk. But don't expect this love to last....

It was a mere five weeks after my split with the then-love of my life when I met him. My heart was broken, my self-esteem in tatters and it was my birthday! my friends sabrina was throwing me a party, but all I wanted to do was climb into a cask of cheap red wine and drown in it.

I still don't know how I got out of bed for the party. I'd pretty much spent five weeks in pyjamas, crying, watching TV and chain-smoking with the efficiency of a woman attempting to commit slow-motion suicide. But somehow I had. Then he walked in. I still remember where I was- sitting on the kitchen counter, wearing tight bootcut trousers that only fitted me because i'd lost 5 kg on the heartbreak diet.

There was an instant spark between us. He worked for my publishers and I'd invited him because he sounded fun. Turned out he was gorgeous too! I'd been so in lust with ny ex that I was terrified I'd never fancy anyone again. It was great to be proved wrong. He rang me the next day and asked me out. I couldn't believe my luck.

Not only had I met a wonderful guy, but miraculously, it happened so soon after my horrible break-up. I told everyone how great he was and threw myself into the relationship. By coincidence, he'd just split up with someone himself, so it had to be fate. throughout it all, I was blissfully unware that I wasn't ready for a relationship. My friend knew it, but they were so relieved to see me upright and capable of stringing a sentence together that they refrained from pointing out he was my rebound guy.

Because, of course, he was, My ex still haunted me. I saw his face in strangers, dreamed about him constantly and had a hard time managing not to call Rebound Guy by my ex's name.

My "new relationship" burned bright for a month and a half, and then he dumped me. said he could tell that I wasn't over my ex. He also said he had a feeling that he and I weren't meant to be lovers, but friends.

I fought him tooth and nail. Accused him of being commitment-phobic. This was a real relationship, I insisted. Then as soon as it was over, I forgot him in instant, as if he had been a figment of my imagination - which, in a way, he had. It took me over a year to get my break-up grieving done. I wrote about my ex obsessively - pages of longing and regret, descriptions of his body, how I felt ripped apart without him. And I thought a lot about Rebound Guy and realised that you're so desperate after a bad break-up, youy'll do anything, and throw yourself at anyone, to stop that loneliness. And, slowly, I was able to see the signs I'd been missing.

A Rebound Guy comes soon after the break-up. He seems perfect; when you talk about him, your eyes are unnaturally bright, and your voice is higher and louder than usual, because you're busy convincing yourself. A rebound Guy is all about haste, with no time to decide if he's really right for you. Time's the last thing you want. Because with time comes space - the empty hole left by your ex - so you cram Rebound Guy into that gap, like a human plug, stopping up your misery.

Now my ex is a distant memory, I'm happier and wiser. As for Rebound Guy, we're good friends now, and he's engaged to the love of his life. It turns out that I was Rebound Girl, too...

Hi girls! 

How can you tell if you're the Rebound Girl?