Recreate Your Love Life

Some girls believe the only kind of man worth falling in love with is the man who accepts us as we are. But why make it so difficult for men? Why insist on being ugly duckling just to prove a point? why not recreate our love lives... and ourselves? So, you've never been in love? Never had a man flirt with you or ask for your number; never been on a real date; never gone on an adventure into the erotic unknown? And wait - I bet you're proud of all the virtue, right? I bet you think you're being true true to yourself, because if a man can't accept you for what you are - overweight, pimply, moody, angry, maybe all of the above - then he's a jerk and doesn't deserve you attention, right?

Oh, give me a break and stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you think love should not have anything to do with the way you look or behave, then you’ve been reading too many angry, sour grapes blogs. Either that, or you’ve not been reading anything at all. Lipstick and plucked eyebrows, winning smiles and positive vibes, smooth legs and smart skirts – these thing have a lot to do with finding true love. Girls who insist on wearing a well-ignored, ugly duckling persona just to prove a point have no idea what they’re missing.

Call me a chauvinist if you must, but let me be blunt: girls who care about the way they look, dress and behave are always more attractive than girls who don’t care about these things… but not for the reasons you think. You see, a girl’s outward identity is the only visual clue us blokes have about her inner identity. If your outward identity looks good, we assume that your inner identity looks good, too. It is not the skirt or flirt that interests us, but what the skirt and flirt means.

It’s a fair assumption to make that if you care enough about yourself to wax your underarms and chew with your mouth closed, then we can be fairly certain that you brush your teeth and like to kiss, too.

What I’m trying to say is that men are not attracted to boobs or legs or toes, but to positivity, same as women. A woman who has a positive outward appearance paints a picture of a positive inner personality. What a guy sees with his EYES are your long legs, pretty eyes and lustrous hair; but what he sees in his MIND is the inner positivity that belongs to a creature of such beauty. How could someone who takes such good care of herself have anything but a conscientious, caring soul?

If you take care to look good, to be courteous, to smile and to be sincere, then that reflects the confident, compassionate girl you are on the inside. And that’s the kind of girl a man could fall in love with.

The weight of attraction

When you are on the other end of a room and there is no one around to tell us who you are, the only thing a man can see about you is the way you look. Overweight girls stir up feelings of pity and distaste. Underweight girls make us think of poor self-image and Karen carpenter. And yet both these perceptions may be changed by the way you dress. Even a perfect, 10-by-10 body can be ruined by the clothes it wears!

Now, I know that some “power” girls wear their extra pounds like a badge of honor. They want to say, “I don’t give a damn what you think about my body,” which is admirable but also self-defeating; because what us guys hear you say is, “I don’t care enough about myself to do something about it.”

Some of my favorite girlfriends were more roundy than slim, but what they lacked in svelteness they made up for in other areas. I, for one, cannot tell the difference between a 55kg body and 60 kg body.

Yet there are few things more admirable than on overweight girl who loses some dramatic pounds. Losing weight shows discipline, dedication and above all, a love of oneself. Men who once noticed you for your outsizedness will now admire you for your self control and commitment, because when we see a truly plump girl lose enough weight to shed three dress sizes we know that’s a real achievement.

As an added bonus to all that positivity, of course, you also get to dress much better, because let’s face it: nice clothes come in small sizes. Men will be happier to buy you gifts, too, because know they’ll be able to get something that will fit within an hour.

Granted, if your weight problem is inherited, then there is not much you can do. Also, you probably already own clothes that look best on you – there is a certain kind of wardrobe that flatters larger physiques; lots of black and brown, lots of vertical stripes and pleats. But if your weight problem is not genetic; if you are overweight simply because of a steady diet of television, chocolate ice-cream and cupcakes, then you have no excuse not to lose that extra fat. Not only will you start generating more interest from blokes, but you’ll also feel much better about yourself.

Not-so-shallow make-up

Obesity is probably the toughest obstacle to face when it comes to recreating your love life, and will naturally take time. However, all other physical traits – hair, skin, eyebrows – can be improved upon in a matter of days. There is no physical handicap that should hamper your efforts to start looking as positive on the outside as you feel on the inside.

If you have neglected to care for your skin through years of self-loathing and self-pity, well, now’s the time to get some proper facial cleanser, moisturizers and toners and start repairing all the damage you’ve inflicted upon yourself. Get your eyebrows plucked (bushy eyebrows on anyone other than George Clooney looks creep), your legs waxed and your nails neatly trimmed. It needn’t cost a lot of money if you do it yourself, and it can be kind of fun.

Next, get a haircut; and, if you can afford it, some hair coloring to get with it. Then make sure you brush your hair one-hundred times every day to keep it shiny and bouncy (at least, that’s what I remember Rapunzel doing).

Finally, look over your cosmetics. Are you using the right colors, or are you using hand-me-downs from your sister or cousin? Are they the colors of today, or of yesteryear? I’m not suggesting that you should plaster your face for every trip to the fast food restaurant (from what I’m told, wearing make-up all the time is bad for your skin, anyway); but I am saying that there is no harm in using a little powder to even out your complexion a little, and that a little lip gloss will go a long way towards making men notice your lips.

that should do it. If you are offended by my shallowness, if you think that losing weight and wearing lipstick makes you no better than a barbie doll, then you're obviously missing the point and simply do not care enough about yourself. But if you're willing to recreate yourself on the outside and feel the changes take place on the inside, then get ready: you're about to fall in love.

Friends and Lovers

Now that you're no longer the dumpy, pimply thing that you once were, get ready to be shocked, because here they come: Men. Tall men, short men, round men, thin men, dark men, red men, good men, and bad men. All attracted to that crispy positively in your outward appearance. All attracted to that vibe.

You may not be a sexpot (yet), but you are clean, stylish and pleasing to look at. In other words, you look like someone who cares about herself... and, as I've said, men find that very attractive. Even from quite a distance, a man can tell that you are a positive girl.; someone they might like to get to know a little better. But although you look the part from across the room, can you act the part up close?

Men sense and feel positive vibrations with the same five-senses-plus-one that women do. The more positive you look and feel up close, the less we are tempted to seek out the negatively underneath. We don't want to spend a lot of time psycho analyzing you. All we want is a smiling face, direct eye contact and a listener's attitude. Just these three things - coupled with your new hair and make-up and skirt size - will bring you more dates than you ever had.

Still, I assume that you are NOT recreating yourself to be a slut, but to find love. Even if you do intend on using your new powers of persuasion for other purpose, though, the rules are the same: don't be loose. A confident sense of self beats a week, easily subjugated personality every time.

You don't want to attract the kind of shallow, egotistical men who will date you, dominate you and dump you at the first sign of commitment. This is the kind of man who likes easy women. Instead, what you want is to create a lasting impression of being a girl worth knowing... whether or not you ever open your arms to a man. you want to give off an air of infinite romantic possibility, and yet be someone a man will value as a friend, NOT just a lover. You want to be worth it, get it?

The dumbest thing you can ever do as your new self is to be desperate. Remember what a man is really interested in: positively. Acting like you've just escaped life imprisonment in convent capacity makes you look naive; if he's a particularly prissy prude, he might even call you rude.

Good Vibrations

So, exercise a little restraint, eh? Even if you really want to experience your own Harlequin romance with him, don't show it yet - there will be plenty of time to letting go of yourself later, trust me. Remember that it is your inner girl that makes you who you are. If you do not feel positive about yourself, there is no way your outer girl can look positive... not with all the Guess and MNG shopping vouchers in the world.

That said, making an effort to look good CAN certainly make you feel good, if only for a while. But those few moments of positively can literally change your life. Men start smiling at you and you start feeling better about yourself - only superficially at first, but with more confidence as it happens more frequently. Their smiles start triggering smiles from you in return, which naturally triggers even more smiles all around. Also, don't forget that your positivity is not only attractive to men, but women, too (although not necessarily in a romantic sense, you understand). Suddenly, there is a whole lot of positive vibe moving around inside you, around you, among you; and that's when good things start to happen.

if you dare to recreate your love life by being positive, you will have no choice but to experience the possibilities that exist outside the walls of that well-ignored, ugly duckling persona you have worn for so long. The vibe will set in motion a chain of events that will not only charge up your love life, but also your social life and your career.